Actor and country singer Jana Kramer was in tears, but she found the courage to step up to the microphone for the first time following her split from husband Mike Caussin to record her most recent Whine Down podcast episode. In doing so, she began to shed some light on what led to her decision to file for divorce.

"My heart is, like, pounding," Kramer, 37, says in the opening minutes of the episode, released on Monday (May 3), about two weeks after she filed for divorce from Caussin on April 20. In the filing, she cites that her 34-year-old husband "has been guilty of inappropriate marital conduct ... and that Husband has been guilty of Adultery."

"I didn’t want this. I think where I'm at is, I'm embarrassed that this is how it ended, and I feel like I let people down," Kramer says on her show.

Kramer — who admits that she has felt like a "zombie" for the past two weeks — tells her listeners that "it has not been easy" and that this is "the weakest I have ever been."

"It goes in waves,” she says. "I feel like I’m so in the middle of the grieving."

"The morning and the night are the hardest," Kramer reveals, adding that while she always used to be someone who was able to go to sleep early, she now "can't sleep" at all.

And while the "I Got the Boy" hitmaker didn't give specifics about what happened to push her to break off her six-year marriage to Caussin, she did indicate that she discovered something that pointed to Caussin's past struggles with infidelity and sex addiction — a new development.

"A few days before things came to light, we were like, 'Wow, we are really good right now,'" she recalls. "I thought we were good.

"I stayed for my kids even when other things happened," Kramer adds. "It’s not f--king fair. That makes me so angry. I worked too damn hard for it to end this way."

Indeed, the couple struggled throughout their marriage, nearly divorcing in 2016 after Caussin admitted to being unfaithful. As they later documented in their book, The Good Fight: Wanting to Leave, Choosing to Stay, and the Powerful Practice for Loving Faithfully, the two went to therapy, and to the public, it seemed that their struggles might be behind them.

"He swore on his sobriety that there was nothing," Kramer says now.

"My kids didn’t deserve this and they didn’t ask for this,” says Kramer, who is now fighting for primary custody of the couple's children, 5-year-old Jolie and 2-year-old Jace. "It's so hard when I have all of these feelings and emotions and then I have to be a mom on top of it."

In thanking her listeners for their encouragement since she shared the news that she is divorcing Caussin, Kramer also says that she feels a sense of relief now.

"It's nice not to have to wonder, worry, look," she admits. “I was always so afraid of that moment."

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