Top 10 Country Breakup Songs
There’s an old saying that insists that “revenge is a dish best served cold” — the idea being that executing a calculated, unexpected response to having been wronged might ultimately produce a more satisfying outcome for the revenge seeker.
A few singers perhaps missed that memo, preferring instead to combat cheaters, heartbreakers and deadbeats with heated and swift retribution (some more “Swift” than others). Take cover as The Boot counts down country’s best breakup songs!
Killer Kiss-Off: “A cheater is always a cheater / I’ve got my pride, and she’s got you.”
Hell hath no fury like a woman — or two — scorned. Pickler and Swift vented and co-conspired on this acidic tale of “once a cheater, always a cheater.” One list it won’t make: songs to dance to at your wedding.
Killer Kiss-Off: “Call someone who listens and might give a damn / Maybe one of your sordid affairs.”
In the days before text messaging made breakups less messy, Tritt offered his ex the coin to let her fingers do the walking and make a payphone call. As a bonus, he also gives her the finger.
Killer Kiss-Off: “You’ll find what’s left of us in a cloud of dust on Highway 4.”
Messina’s a heartbreaker and a law-breaker, speeding away from Mr. Wrong and tossing a rear-view mirror in his general direction while he turns on the waterworks. Man up, dude; no one likes a crybaby.
Killer Kiss-Off: “Take your space and take your reasons, but you’ll think of me.”
He may sound sad — and hoping you’re sadder — but Urban also seems relieved to be rid of some excess baggage. It’s a safe bet he never liked your cat or your taste in music in the first place.
Killer Kiss-Off: “I’m sick and lovin’ tired of all your lovin’ around.”
Ingram’s lovin’ mad, and he’s not gonna lovin’ take it anymore. If he’d really used the word we all know he’s thinking but not singing, you’d swear you were watching ‘Scarface,’ not listening to a country song. And what is it about exes and their cats?
Killer Kiss-Off: “I don’t hate the one who left, you can’t hate someone who’s dead.”
Lambert’s version of a torch song is one incendiary send-off. Cheatin’ may not be a crime, but arson carries some pretty stiff penalties. So does murder. The body count kept climbing on subsequent albums.
Killer Kiss-Off: “Pucker up and close your eyes, and kiss this goodbye.”
Not to be confused with Faith Hill‘s chirpy hit, ‘This Kiss,’ this cheeky number finds our heroine pointing to her backside as her bum of a boyfriend tries to get back on her good side. Can you say “epic fail”?
Killer Kiss-Off: “If you come around saying sorry to me, my daddy’s gonna show you how sorry you’ll be.”
This tit-for-tat tantrum finds Swift plotting to get even by dissing her ex’s pickup truck, threatening to “out” him (in one version, anyway) and starting a fire using the stupid redneck’s photos as kindling. Way to prove you’re not obsessive and crazy!
Killer Kiss-Off: “Well, now you say you’re sorry / Honey, I agree.”
If, as the saying goes, “living well is the best revenge,” Bentley wants his cheatin’ ex to know he’s living very well, thank you: crying tears of joy into his beer, partying with his friends, finally getting to lead when he’s dancing. Aren’t you’re glad you asked?
Killer Kiss-Off: “Someone’s gonna do you like you done me honey / And when she does you like she’ll do you, it ain’t funny.”
Loveless points both barrels at her snake of a man, listing his seven (well, more like eight or nine) deadly sins as just cause for the inevitable bust-up. After “lyin’, cheatin’, cold, deadbeatin’, two-timin’, double-dealin’, mean and mistreatin’,” there’s not much else to say, so she throws in the word “lovin’.” And we all know what she’s really saying … right?