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Rory Feek Remembers Joey Feek on Easter, Her ‘Favorite Holiday’

…sunrise Easter service this morning w friends at Indy's best friend Scout's farmhouse.

A photo posted by Joey+Rory (@roryandjoey) on

The first holiday without a deceased loved one is always tough. For Rory Feek and daughter Indiana, their first holiday without Joey Feek also happened to be her favorite: Easter. In a new blog post, Rory Feek reflects on spending the first Easter without his wife, and also explains how Indy is dealing with her mother’s death.

Feek writes that Joey Feek always loved Easter because of the religious moment — the resurrection of Jesus Christ — that it marks. So, of course, on Easter 2016 (March 27), he found himself thinking of his wife — “remember[ing] all the Easters we’ve spent together over the years and what this morning would be like if she were still here with us. What it would mean to her to share Easter this year with our two-year-old. It would be so, so special.”

Rory Feek also explains that the holiday has him thinking of a particular Bible verse, John 3:30: “He must become greater; I must become less.” While the verse is John the Baptist speaking of how his ministry will lessen as Jesus’ grows, John 3:30 makes Feek think of how his wife prepared Indy (and, by extension, her husband) for life after her death.

“Indy has not asked for her mama. Not one single time since Joey’s been gone. It’s almost as if she hasn’t noticed that she’s not here,” Rory Feek confesses. “And that is so sad … and oh, so wonderful — all at the same time.”

Following Joey Feek’s diagnosis with terminal cancer in October, “Joey was Indy’s whole world. Everyone else was … well, just everyone else. Including me.” However, when Feek started hospice care, she knew that it was less important to spend every waking minute loving on Indy and more important to help grow the relationship between her husband and her daughter.

“Who does that? Who has that kind of strength and character? Not me, that’s for sure,” Rory Feek admits. “I would’ve taken the low, easy road … the one that served me more. I would’ve tried to make the ties with our baby stronger and her love for me deeper so that she wouldn’t forget me … and in the end, probably left our baby wrecked with grief over the loss of the one person she loved and needed most. But not Joey. She let Indy fall more in love with me … and less in love with her. She carried the pain on her own shoulders, to try to keep it off of mine. And even more so, off of Indy’s.

“… Indiana loved her mama … but she wanted me,” Feek continues. “She needed me.”

Feek adds that his daughter “doesn’t quite understand” that her mama is gone, but there will be a day that she does. And so, in addition to the memories of Joey Feek that Rory Feek has collected, he and Indy have made a habit of visiting Joey Feek’s grave every day.

“We make the walk or ride into the backfield, to the spot where Joey rests, and we sit down beside her temporary wooden cross. I talk with my bride about what has happened that day, and what I’m worried or excited about … and I share the latest thing that Indiana is doing. And our little one plays in the grass beside the flowers. Listening. ‘Talking’ with her hands,” Rory Feek explains. “And for a little bit, we’re a family again. Indy is on Joey’s lap, and the world is right.”

See Photos From Joey Feek’s Memorial Service

What’s Next for Rory Feek?

NEXT: 5 Major Joey + Rory Career Milestones

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