This week’s Spurs reflect on the Grammys, Gaga and gals growing up too fast.
Congratulations to all the country Grammy winners this year. Happy to see that Lady Antebellum won more awards than Lady Gag Ga. After her grand entrance in that Grade A large egg, Blake Shelton was asking for a skillet and pound of Jimmy Dean sausage.
Martina McBride more than held her own with all the high-range singing divas during the opening segment that paid tribute to Aretha Franklin. I’m not sure who hit the higher notes: Martina or Tony Hawk when he slipped and fell astraddle his BMX bike.
Reportedly John Rich has offered up a trade to Cee Lo Green — his big fur coat for Cee Lo’s San Diego chicken outfit. Once again … Blake Shelton would like a frying skillet and a chunk of sausage to go with that.
But the night truly belonged to Lady A, so congratulations to them. With their huge success, Warner Music has signed a trio called Lady A Plus, with Big Machine to follow with a group called Extra Credit.
Similarly, Uncle Kracker‘s recent country success has inspired a new act called Aunt Biscuit, whom label execs are already predicting will self-rise to the top of the charts. I see Aunt Biscuit being carried into the Grammys next year in a tin sleeve that Kid Rock will then smack on the end of the stage allowing Aunt Biscuit to ooze out of incubation to sing her latest hit.
A sad story here: Billy Ray Cyrus is blaming the success of ‘Hannah Montana’ for destroying his family. Between the rumors of Miley’s underage drinking and taking hits on a bong, Billy is saying he wishes they’d have never done the show. He sought advice from Charlie Sheen, who has convinced CBS executives to cast Miley in a spin-off of his sitcom, titled ‘Three and a Half Women.’ She’ll, of course, play Charlie’s female counterpart, while Kellie Pickler is in talks to play her sassy niece.
That’s the Spur this week, kiddies. And remember, no one got hurt while writing this column.