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Every Saturday, The Boot brings you the week's top tweets so you can see what your favorite stars are chirping about! This week's funniest Twitter posts come from Dierks Bentley, Miranda Lambert, Brad Paisley and more. And don't forget to follow The Boot (@thebootdotcom).

Dierks Bentley (@dierksbentley): "My mom just called Border's bookstore and asked them to hold three copies of the latest Penthouse magazine with my interview in it. I'm pretty sure she has no idea what Penthouse is ... wish I could be at that store with a video camera when she goes to pick them up!"

Miranda Lambert (@Miranda_Lambert): "Why would anyone go running in the evening when it's cocktail time?"

Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton): "Can someone explain to my financy that a speed bump isn't for speeding up!!!!!!"

Jimmy Wayne (@JimmyWayne): "I could do w/o a Tropical vacation, a parachute in a spiraling plane, a great song idea, but not @coffee_mate" [TwitPic]



Uncle Kracker (@unclekracker): "I wish Morgan Freeman was my Grampa!"

Burns & Poe (@burnsandpoe): "I ripped off my Georgia bulldog t-shirt, threw it on the floor, dropped to my knees, looked up at the heavens and simply asked WHY?" [Keith Burns after Georgia lost to Mississippi State in college football.]

Blaine Larsen (@blainelarsen): "'Dancing With the Stars' should be named 'Dancing With the Wanna Be Stars.' I have heard of maybe two of these people."

Jason Aldean (@Jason_Aldean): "I'm sitting in a deer stand for the first time this year and have not even seen a squirrel, much less a deer."

Terri Clark (@TerriClarkMusic): "Thinking I drink far too much coffee. I could thread a sewing machine with it running right now."

Brad Paisley (@bradpaisley): "Yesterday afternoon we started recording the next studio album. Oh & I saved 15% on my car insurance. I'll be passing those savings on to you."

David Nail (@davidnail): "Who's coming to a @ladyantebellum show this week? I am, oh wait, I work all of them! Sweet, hopefully I'll see ya there!!!"

Danny Gokey (@dannygokey): "Spongebob makes me happy"

Jason Michael Carroll (@JMCOfficial): "Last night during 'Alyssa Lies' I had to cough. I tried to time it in a spot I could get away with it & when the time finally came, I realized that I'd spent SO much time trying 2 plan it & cause less distraction, that I forgot the words that I was supposed to come back in on. BAD timing, BIGGER distraction! Oh well, I had good intentions!"

Michelle Branch (@michellebranch): "Okay, I keep hearing thunder. Could it really be? Grabbing a glass of white wine and headed outside to do a rain dance ... LOVE thunderstorms"

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